Undo the Performer’s Mindset: Find Freedom and Ease in Everyday Movement

Are you still "performing?" Trying to make your body “right,” “perfect,” or “aligned”?

As dancers and movers, we trained to hold, control, and shape our bodies a certain way. But that same performance mindset often turns into subtle tension and pain long after we leave the stage, keeping you tense and disconnected.

In this gentle exploration, I’ll show you a simple Alexander Technique-inspired approach of how to recognize when the perfectionist way of thinking is showing up in your body — and how to invite softness, ease, and freedom instead. It’s an invitation to stop "performing" in your body and return to kinesthetic presence — where movement feels light, fluid, and fully alive again.

If you’d like to go deeper, I offer free consultations in which we can discuss what you need and how to apply this work to your body and your movement.

A transcript of the video is below if you’d prefer to read rather than watch and listen.

Hello, friend.

Today I wanted to address the performer way of thinking and how that can show up in your body and also what you can do about it.

As dancers, particularly highly sensitive dancers, we trained with our bodies and we trained in techniques. We trained to learn choreography that was often quite specific in what we were supposed to do, how we were supposed to look, where our body needed to be at a certain moment in time.

And we would receive feedback that was very easy to take as criticism.

You can also internalize that criticism and start to view your own body in a more judgmental, evaluating way about where it's supposed to be, what it's supposed to be doing, what it's not supposed to be doing, and developing this way of controlling it that starts to lead to this perfection.

That's perfectionist way of thinking.

You know that there's this “right” way. There's the “perfect” way to have your body be moving. There's the “perfect” shape to make.

And that may have served you when you were dancing more, when you were performing. (Though I would actually question if it really did serve you.)

For many of us, myself included, that's just the only way we knew how to do it. We didn't know that there were other ways of approaching it. That's just what came out. That's what we thought we had to do. So, that's what we developed.

And maybe that did serve you when you're performing or learning certain techniques, but it is not really a healthy way to live your life out in the world, to just live your everyday being.

Because what that can start to do—that perfectionist way of thinking of trying to control your body that way—as you're using it in your everyday life, it generally will show up as effort and tension and holding in your body.

Over time that effort and tension and holding starts to have an effect. We usually feel that effect in terms of pain or discomfort or something just not working the way you're used to.

Also, when we were younger a lot of us could just take our body for granted and take our movement for granted. It's like, “Well, I want my body to do this and it does, or if it doesn't quite do it, I'll just try harder. I'll make it happen.”

So, if we get used to moving that way, forcing our body to move and forcing it to do something. Then we take it for granted. And then it doesn't work the way you're used to and your pattern is to force it.

If that ever happened in class or on stage, that is definitely going to flow into the rest of your life.

That is not the best way to be living, particularly as we get older. It just doesn't feel that good.

What we can do is start to recognize when that pattern comes up in you.

If something happens in your body, especially an ache or a pain, notice when your response is to push back against it.

It’s totally understandable for a lot of us. We didn't know there was anything else we could do.

You might not even know you're doing this.

You can start to get curious and see, “Is that my response? What does happen when I feel discomfort or pain in my body? How do I respond to it?”

That's important to notice. For right now, check out if you're trying to perform a little bit in your body. If you're trying to kind of hold yourself together, or “be” a certain way.

That’s so easy for us to do, to hold ourselves and be a certain way because we developed it: to be on stage, to do the choreography, to do the technique.

But we don't have to do that right now.

Instead, I’d like to invite you to start by leaving your shoulders alone.

When I said that to myself, my shoulders softened a little bit.

Leaving your shoulders alone doesn't mean to hold them where they are and not let them change. That would not be leaving them alone. Holding something tightly is not leaving it alone.

Stop trying to make your shoulders be something or be in the right place.

Mine just did again, particularly my right one. It just softened a bit more. I didn’t even know it wasn't soft to begin with, but just that invitation to leave them alone changed them.

You can notice where you already are. If you're sitting, notice that you're sitting and allow yourself to sit. Leave your spine alone for a moment.

That doesn't mean it has to collapse. Maybe when you leave your spine alone, you do round. That's okay. If you notice, “I've just been holding my spine up, just holding and holding. Can I just let it be?” That's fine.

Leave your breath alone.

This might be a challenge because if you spent a long time trying to finesse your body, perfect it, get it to be just so, to move just so, leaving it alone can be like, “What? How do I even do that?”

You do it by starting with the invitation. Even if it doesn't seem to make a lot of sense right away, it's okay. This is a place to begin.

Leave your spine alone.

Leave your breath alone.

Leave your shoulders alone.

My right shoulder dropped again. There's something there that tells me I to be aware that I start to hold my right shoulder when I'm not giving it that attention.

And if something like that comes up for you, just take note of it. It's not something you have to judge. It's not something you have to try to perfect.

That's that old way of thinking coming back in. That thought process doesn’t have to come in and tighten you back up. Just notice it. Say thank you and then leave it alone.

Okay, that's all for today.

If you enjoyed this video, if you got anything out of it, please let the mysterious algorithm know by liking, commenting, subscribing to the channel. And if there are any questions you have or something that particularly resonate with you, please leave that in the comments. I read those and those will help me make future videos that will speak to you and help you because that is the purpose of these.

Till we meet again, take care.